Mutual
I downloaded Mutual 2 days ago. It's a dating app similar to Tinder, but it's specifically for LDS YSAs. Yeah, weird. Most people wouldn't expect it to even exist, especially since Dallin H. Oaks specifically counseled against online dating (see https://www.lds.org/ensign/2006/06/dating-versus-hanging-out?lang=eng). Frankly, since he counseled against online dating, I was worried about getting in the first place, but it came with one of those "might as well" thoughts, and I hope it works out? I really don't know. I keep feeling like I should delete the app, but it feels very different from the feeling I get when I'm being prompted by the Spirit. I kind of just feel guilty for using this app at all.
I've been using the app for doing something at least productive while I'm doing other stuff, although I've had to remember that there are times and places where it's not appropriate and that I shouldn't let a good thing get in the way of a better thing or of the best things.
I decided I would delete the app if I didn't match with 1 person by the end of 2 weeks. Today, I matched with someone. Then I decided my new goal was to match with 2 people this week. I matched with a second person today.
I opened with the same line for both girls "Want to go time travel with me sometime?" How I followed up that line changed how the conversation went: One was fun and playful, the other was less playful and left the girl a little confused. But both girls turned out to be interested enough that they continued the conversation; one of them even accepted a date. I realized that one of the ways I can manage an exorbitant amount of dates is by making it a no-brainer that this girl should go out with me. The last time I got a date was by asking "I'd like to take you on the best date of your life. Interested?" With both of these girls, I took that a step further. Here was my script:
"I'll let you decide:
"Option 1: I ask you on a date right now, and we go on one of the best dates of your life.
"Option 2: We get to know each other a little better first, we realize that we really do want to go on a date, I ask you out, and we go on one of the best dates of your life." Not only was the date presented as "one of the best dates of your life", but I started with the assumption that no matter what she did (unless she decided to give some kind of absolute rejection) we would go out sometime in the next 2 weeks, so in Dungeons and Dragons terms, I railroaded her into saying "yes" by giving her two options that both led to the same result. Additionally, one of the options was (to paraphrase Rick and Morty) "Just [the first option] with extra steps" so not only was it a no-brainer to say "yes", it was a no-brainer to skip the small-talk and accept a date, where the small talk and the big talk can happen easily.
I've been using the app for doing something at least productive while I'm doing other stuff, although I've had to remember that there are times and places where it's not appropriate and that I shouldn't let a good thing get in the way of a better thing or of the best things.
I decided I would delete the app if I didn't match with 1 person by the end of 2 weeks. Today, I matched with someone. Then I decided my new goal was to match with 2 people this week. I matched with a second person today.
I opened with the same line for both girls "Want to go time travel with me sometime?" How I followed up that line changed how the conversation went: One was fun and playful, the other was less playful and left the girl a little confused. But both girls turned out to be interested enough that they continued the conversation; one of them even accepted a date. I realized that one of the ways I can manage an exorbitant amount of dates is by making it a no-brainer that this girl should go out with me. The last time I got a date was by asking "I'd like to take you on the best date of your life. Interested?" With both of these girls, I took that a step further. Here was my script:
"I'll let you decide:
"Option 1: I ask you on a date right now, and we go on one of the best dates of your life.
"Option 2: We get to know each other a little better first, we realize that we really do want to go on a date, I ask you out, and we go on one of the best dates of your life." Not only was the date presented as "one of the best dates of your life", but I started with the assumption that no matter what she did (unless she decided to give some kind of absolute rejection) we would go out sometime in the next 2 weeks, so in Dungeons and Dragons terms, I railroaded her into saying "yes" by giving her two options that both led to the same result. Additionally, one of the options was (to paraphrase Rick and Morty) "Just [the first option] with extra steps" so not only was it a no-brainer to say "yes", it was a no-brainer to skip the small-talk and accept a date, where the small talk and the big talk can happen easily.
Comments
Post a Comment