Negative Emotions
I love Provo. I'm happier here than I have been since serving on FSU's Campus. I get to be around as many people as I want (which brings me lots of energy), I get to spend all day making people happy, and I get to learn great new stuff.
I don't know if it's because I've pushed away the Spirit from my life or whether it's because I haven't eaten a home-cooked lunch or dinner this week, or whether it's because I'm dehydrated, or whether it's just because my last boss made being late a really bad thing (seriously. I was afraid every day of being late, and when I was late, I was afraid to see my boss for the first hour of work because I didn't want him to know I was late. Maybe I was just over-reacting), but I got pretty stressed out later on in the day. I was on my way to a piano lesson, and it took 5 minutes longer to walk to my car than I expected. The map told me it would take only 15 minutes to get to her house, but once I got in the car, it said it would be 18 minutes. Then I missed 2 turns. Fortunately, in Provo, you don't have to worry about missing too many turns, since you can still get to your destination easily enough. But once I almost got to my destination in Orem, 12 minutes late, I found a message from my student saying that she'd given me the address for the house she would move into soon. Her current address is in Provo. At that exact moment, I got a notification saying I was running low on cellular data, and I started saying "Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up. I can't deal with any more notifications right now."
We agreed to hold the lesson at the Orem house until I realized I'd forgotten to bring my keyboard with me. So I drove back to Provo and we held the lesson at her apartment in Provo. I was so stressed the entire time, knowing I'd broken the trust of this student because I wouldn't be there until almost an hour late for the lesson. But then she opened the door and I saw it was a 22-year-old. I have a perception that when someone from the previous generation is saying "It's totally OK that you're late", they're just humoring me and trying to make me feel better, but when a Millennial says "It's OK that you're late", they come from a perspective of knowing how bad it feels to be late or actually not caring whether you're on time or not. I know that's an inaccurate perception, but it's how I subconsciously think about the dynamics.
Now I'm feeling tired, critical, misanthropic, and without energy. But the moment I got on the phone with someone to ask her on a date, I started feeling more energy and feeling happier. Maybe I should have taken the other opportunity to get on the phone with someone else an hour ago.
I don't know if it's because I've pushed away the Spirit from my life or whether it's because I haven't eaten a home-cooked lunch or dinner this week, or whether it's because I'm dehydrated, or whether it's just because my last boss made being late a really bad thing (seriously. I was afraid every day of being late, and when I was late, I was afraid to see my boss for the first hour of work because I didn't want him to know I was late. Maybe I was just over-reacting), but I got pretty stressed out later on in the day. I was on my way to a piano lesson, and it took 5 minutes longer to walk to my car than I expected. The map told me it would take only 15 minutes to get to her house, but once I got in the car, it said it would be 18 minutes. Then I missed 2 turns. Fortunately, in Provo, you don't have to worry about missing too many turns, since you can still get to your destination easily enough. But once I almost got to my destination in Orem, 12 minutes late, I found a message from my student saying that she'd given me the address for the house she would move into soon. Her current address is in Provo. At that exact moment, I got a notification saying I was running low on cellular data, and I started saying "Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up. I can't deal with any more notifications right now."
We agreed to hold the lesson at the Orem house until I realized I'd forgotten to bring my keyboard with me. So I drove back to Provo and we held the lesson at her apartment in Provo. I was so stressed the entire time, knowing I'd broken the trust of this student because I wouldn't be there until almost an hour late for the lesson. But then she opened the door and I saw it was a 22-year-old. I have a perception that when someone from the previous generation is saying "It's totally OK that you're late", they're just humoring me and trying to make me feel better, but when a Millennial says "It's OK that you're late", they come from a perspective of knowing how bad it feels to be late or actually not caring whether you're on time or not. I know that's an inaccurate perception, but it's how I subconsciously think about the dynamics.
Now I'm feeling tired, critical, misanthropic, and without energy. But the moment I got on the phone with someone to ask her on a date, I started feeling more energy and feeling happier. Maybe I should have taken the other opportunity to get on the phone with someone else an hour ago.
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